Over the Hump

Sometimes things just never get into my thick skull no matter how many times I hear them. Things like "the more you give the more you get", "let go and let God" and "this too will pass". No matter how many times I hear these things and experience them to be true, I somehow forget again. And again I have experienced the miracle of what I know is true coming to pass with my community. Just before our mid-year retreat I felt alone, frustrated and just plain fed up with living in community. Yet, this was the storm that always comes before the calm in life.

In a recent conversation a friend asked me how my community life was going and it was then I realized the frustration and loneliness had passed. So many times I have experienced hard times in life, but these times always let way to calmness and joy. I should have known this was coming all along! Although I don't feel extreme joy everyday and sometimes I still feel frustration, I no longer allow these feelings to linger. I'm finding my way back to enjoying the things happening around me and making the most of the unique experience I have living in New York. Even though I'm ready to go back to familiar faces, I'm no longer itching to get out of here ASAP. I hope I can look back on these past months to remind myself "this too shall pass"...and maybe this time I'll actually get it.

Also, I'd like to share some photos of various happenings from NY!


Kira, Jen and I celebrated Jen's birthday at South Seaport in NYC! We went to a great bar and enjoyed homemade cake. Candles, knife, plates and birthday serenade courtesy of the bar ;-)


Kira's friend from CA, Rachel, came for a surprise visit!!! She spent some time up in the Bronx with Jenny from the block and then she, Kira and I spent a day in the city enjoying the sites.

My ministry site, OPening Word, had one of its annual fundraisers. Here I am with some of the wonderful women we teach helping to support a great cause :-)!

Mid-year Retreat Funness!!

Our mid-year retreat was held in beautiful Denver, CO. We all gathered (in person and through skype) on Thursday to begin our retreat. Stefanie and Tony's homework for all of the volunteers was to tell our stories using 5 criteria we had been given ahead of time, but also to be creative. Everyone did a wonderful job of creatively sharing their story especially when it came to using each of our 5 senses during the presentation.

After everyone had shared, we came together to talk about our collective story. It was incredible how many of us had gone through the exact same roller coaster of emotions without realizing everyone was feeling many of the same emotions. I think this realization brought our group even closer and helped us all to feel not so alone in our community life and ministry. We were also given the task to write our collective story in a short paragraph and were given a very limited amount of time to do so. This proved to be a little challenging, especially trying to make sure that everyone was being heard including the NY girls, but we were able to push through and come up with a short paragraph about our time so far as Dominican Volunteers (at the end of this blog entry.

As the retreat came to an end, it was hard to see everyone scatter to many different parts of the country, but comforting to know we would be together soon enough for our end of the year retreat. The retreat was a great time to come back to our ministry sites refreshed and energetic!

*I want to especially thank Tony and Stefanie for all they do for the DVUSA. There is no way that my year, and I am sure the same is for the other volunteers, would be as life changing if the two of you were not part of it. You do so much behind the scenes work and as much as some of us complained about sharing our stories, I think we all had a great time listening to one another! Thanks a bunch!!!*

"We have learned that we need personal time and time with others as well as that personalities can change. We can see God's power in our lives and the need to trust God's will. We learned that faith is diverse within intergenerational relationships. We have struggled with communication with both those we serve and within the communities we live.

We have experienced challenges concerning trusting the Holy Spirit and patience. We have also experienced growth in self and relational knowledge, new things, trust, and vulnerability."

Un-invited Friday excitement

Today at lunchtime another Teacher Assistant (TA) and I were with the kids, instead of the usual 3 people. We were on a trip to the bathroom before sitting the kids down to eat and then nap. As I was making sure that the boys were washing their hands and behaving one of them yells "Dennifer! Deres wader on da foor!!" He's right. Crap. Literally. The toilet is flooding. After I stare at it for .2secs and realize there is no local water shut off like on a house toilet to stop it, I shuttle the boys down to the girls bathroom to the other TA to finish business. Miraculously it stops running, and the secretary is super nice and brings two mops and helps me start cleaning.

As we are mopping, one of the ladies runs into the bathroon and yells "There's a fire in the church!!!" Tracy and I both stare at eachother, drop the mops and start rushing to get the kids down to the room for their coats. (Torch is in the old convent which is semi-attached to St. Nicholas Tolentine Church. They're separated by huge thick stone walls) We get the kids back to the classroom for their coats and are told that we have not been instructed to evacuate by the firemen yet but be ready. I pulled the "Mom voice" out of somewhere, and it worked! The kids listened amazingly well and put on their coats. We were told to feed the kids lunch because the firemen were aware of our situation and they will let us know if we need to leave. Five minutes into the kids attempting to eat lasagna while wearing poufy parkas and scarves we are told to leave and stand accross the street. We were there for about 30-45min. Luckily, my kids were pretty good and semi-entertained by the 2 news helicopters circling like vultures and the fire trucks.

No one was hurt in the fire, but there looks like a lot of damage done to the sanctuary. From what I hear the police are still looking into the cause of the fire, which may have begun in a supply closet.

Atleast this excitement happened on a Friday, I dont think I could handle a Monday with this much action :)

As Lent Begins

I don't know if it is politically correct to say so, but Happy Lent! I hope that everyone got all of the partying out of them over our retreat, Valentines Day, and Mardi Gras :).

Since coming home from our retreat (which was absolutely amazing!), things have really picked up speed. On Tuesday my supervisor formally offered me a job for after I finish my DV year. I was flattered by such a strong display appreciation for what I have been doing here at Casa. I have a week to let her know my decision, and I am doing my best to give it due consideration. I am still leaning towards teaching in the fall, but I don't want to overlook this opportunity.

Then, yesterday we had people over to interview for the 2 open casework positions . I am sooo ready for them to begin and get settled so that I can pass on to them and the current caseworkers all of the things I am doing that the caseworkers should be doing.

Currently, I am swinging between the two extremes of wanting the future to come now so that I can begin the rest of my life and really needing extra time (I don't know where it is going to come from) to think and pray about and plan and work towards the rest of my life.

This leads me into my 'Facebook status' that Stefanie forgot to ask me about. I think my status would say something like "Casa and Genesis House: Temporary homes, preparing for the future" (fyi, Genesis House is the name of my community). In both Houses/Casas, people are in transition. A common phrase at Casa is that we are "preparing the children for permanency." Even though Casa and many of its employees have been around for a long time, we try to always recognize that the children's lives are on hold while they are in our care and that our goal is for them to be better prepared for the next part of their lives.

Similarly, Genesis House is the formation house for the Dominican Sisters of Houston. As Sr. Pat likes to say, we are the "revolving door community." People are in and out, year to year if not more frequently. This gives the sense that, while we have a good community now, it is not a lasting situation. While I do think that both Casa de Esperanza and the Dominican Sisters of Houston will be a part of my life even after this year is over, I also have a strong feeling that where I am now is not permanent.

In all truth, not too many things in our lives are or will be permanent, but right now I am especially in-tune with the fact that my current situation is temporary. It also remindes me of what Lynn Allvin said at Orienation, that we are voluntarily displaced during our time of service.

In light of my (much longer than I had anticipated) post, I challenge you, my fellow DVs, to share your experience of being in ministry and community temporarily and as a voluntarily displaced person.

On a similar note, I would like to hear what other people are doing for Lent, especially for the accountability. My action for Lent is that I am going to set aside time every day to pray and listen to God.

Many blessings during this Lenten season!

With Love,
Kristen

Thoughts on the Feast of St. Agatha

St. Agatha is one of the many early martyrs of the Church, dying in Sicily in the persecutions of one or another vindictive Roman emperor. We know next to nothing about her beyond this. However, we do know that she has a special patronage for bell makers and against sudden fires and breast cancer, among other things.

Her “story” sounds like it was ripped strait from the Grimm Brothers and written in Latin: a secret Christian during a persecution who was the victim of a corrupt local governor. Said governor, like all the best B movie villains, gave up a fully developed character long ago for better access to one or more vices. In this case, the governor (who has a name, but it’s not that important) consists entirely of lust. Poor Agatha was variously imprisoned in a brothel, the governor’s private chamber, and actual dungeons, and at one point even lost her breasts as they were mutilated off as one more psychological, physical, and sexual abuse at the command of the lecherous governor. Despite all that, she would neither move from Christ nor give herself over to Governor Lusty. She gained everlasting life sometime around 250 A.D.

There are two questions I have to ask whenever I read a story about someone like Agatha. The first one is “Who was the real Agatha?” I mean the truth is I, like most people of our era, can’t get enough of the whole notion of “based on a true story.” I love reading nonfiction stories about marines and spies and other real people who lived and died on this world. I’m also genuinely shocked whenever I read a headline suggesting that there are new historical findings that shed light on some figure from the past. In one sense it is a good and noble thing to seek the truth and reject anything that rings of falseness. In my ministry I tutor kids and I want an accurate idea of what that kid needs to improve in his or her class. It does me no good to hear “He’s a good kid,” that’s not facts to work with, that’s a story.

And yet, as Christians one of our core beliefs is the rejection of knowing the “whole story” until God chooses to reveal it to us. So, my second question is, “Does it matter?” Maybe Agatha was plain-looking, rounded up with the whole of her nameless community and executed. Maybe she almost gave up and renounced only to receive strength and support from an unknown source. Maybe she really was a beautiful maiden that a lusty governor could not defile. Does it matter?

More and more I realize that answering God’s call means finding your identity in God. I may have never thought of myself as a teacher before this year, but that’s where God seems to be calling me now. Do I think this plan makes sense? I’m not sure yet. I don’t think Agatha signed on specifically to pray to God on behalf of bell-makers, Malta, and those afflicted by fire and breast cancer. But that’s how she serves God and the Church. May it please God that we may follow her example.

Buenos tardes!

Hey ya'll! Hope the week is going good for all ya'll. I first want to say how much I enjoyed the Advent blog! It was so awesome and everyone had such great posts! It was really nice for me also because my community pretty much has no prayer time. The other volunteers I live with are all Americorp and they really have no desire to have community prayer. So I wanted to propose an idea to everyone. I got a webcam for xmas and Stefanie gave me this awesome idea to have prayer sessions with you guys through skype! I was thinking we could do the liturgy of the hours maybe once or twice a week. If anyone is interested please make a comment or let me know in someway. I enjoy personal prayer time but I really have been wanting some form of community prayer. Thanks guys and have a blessed week!
Becca

The Times They Are A-Chainging

First, I must say that I am honored to be the first person to add to our blog in this new year and new decade (and baffled that we are already 11 days in!). I hope that everyone had a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. If the lack of writing tells me anything, I assume most everyone got to travel home and spend time with family. :) Travel stories, anyone?
After the simple guidance of our Advent books and the greater ease that can come from knowing what lies ahead (Christmas), I want to remind my fellow DVs (and myself) that just because Christmas has past and we are now in "Ordinary Time," we should try not to get discouraged as our tasks get challenging or as things change or don't change when we would like them to. I hope that the winter holidays have instead provided a break and led each of us into a renewed sense of purpose. It may help to remember, as Lynn Allvin explained to us, that we are voluntarily displaced. I put forward the challenge to think about what that means for you right now.
I think the spring semester has always looked brighter for me than the fall, but it can also bring with it the uncertainty of what to do when we leave our current homes and familiarities. I came into this year with a little too much expectation that I would figure everything out while I was here and be ready to start heading down some path that I thought would be clearly laid before me by the time the year closes. By now, I know that I was completely wrong. On the other hand, God has genuinely shown me things I may never have noticed about myself otherwise. I'll be the first to admit that I am still trying to figure things out (mostly) and trying to listen to where God is leading me (a little less).
The Dominican Sisters of Houston hosted a talk on "The Quest for Holiness" in which the speaker, Dr. Greer Gordon, outlined for us how to think about and live the process of discernment. Considering that I have been struggling to discern many aspects of my life, I found it incredibly helpful, and I will have to share some of her insights (please remind me if I forget to post them in the next week or two). Part of the reason I don't have the answers I am looking for may have more to do with me not doing my part than God not answering my prayers- since God always works through people and events in our lives. I often forget that and instead keep waiting for God to speak in a clear voice telling me what to do next and making certain decisions for me. I will have to go into this more another time...
The real reason I started writing is to let everyone know that a former DV (2008-09), Kelly Biddle, has been accepted as a Candidate for the Dominican Sisters of Houston!!! (She is in the early stages of discerning whether to join that community as a sister.) As much as I love the three sisters with whom I currently live, it is nice to have a change and especially to have another young person in the house (and the neighborhood). She moved in Friday and begins as a biology professor next Tuesday, so please keep her in your prayers as she adjusts to many things and embarks on this journey.
I am beginning to see why Sr. Pat calls our house the "Revolving Door Community." Not only did Kelly move in on Friday, but we are having Sr. Miriam who ministers in Guatemala come in for a few weeks starting tomorrow, and Sr. Mary Brenda who has been in Kenya for a while is moving back to the U.S. and comes to live with us on Wednesday. Chapter will be held this coming weekend, so we will also have Sr. Deborah in our house for those days. Basically, our house went from 4 months with 4 people living in the house to in the course of a week 6 women living there, plus visitors!! I am very excited to meet and get to know these women whom I have heard so much about (and to see our 10 bedroom house get a little more use), but I am also a little curious as to how we will share one refridgerator and one washer and drier, not to mention rearranging and adding furniture so we can all sit comfortably in the community room and chapel.
I pray that all of you are well. Please write more about your ministries and communities. I know that our mid-year retreat is fast upon us, but I would love to hear how everyone is doing (the joys and the struggles)!
Many, many blessings in this new year,
Kristen